This past week saw Manchester United destroy Chelsea and sent notice to the rest of the EPL that they rule England. We all enjoyed the game but the main thing that I heard on the training ground was poor Fernando Torres’ open goal miss. It was such a horrible miss that the announcer was feeling sorry for him. The miss looked strikingly similar to most of Steve Wu’s attempts. We in the soccer community have been desensitized to this type of shocking finishing by watching Steve Wu’s attempts at playing striker. Fortunately we have the PTS weekly picks to get our minds off this subject.

This week we saw Phil Teeling’s Roswell Red Devils retain the number one position. It seems that this rookie wants to make the statement to the league that he is a force to be reckoned with. He is not letting his inexperience get in the way. Similar to the Fernando Torres horror miss, the former number one Paul Kelly laid an egg and dropped to sixth. He was not available for comment but rival Franklin Young of Marietta Liverpool and holder of the fifth spot attributed it to mental weakness. “In this game, you have to keep your focus. We all knew Paul would crumble under the pressure. You have to mentally strong.”

Joining Roswell Red Devils is Jim Caruso’s Barca team. Many around the league are wondering who this wonderboy is. Not too long ago, he was drowning in the depths of the bottom of the table with cellar dwellers Weaux and Pimp Warrior Marco Garcia. Jim Caruso is CEO of Media First , a top notch Public Relations outfit based in Atlanta. When asked about his approach to picking the scores, Caruso explains “The systems that I employ are very similar to the approach we use in creating a public relations campaign. It is a very detailed oriented process of uncovering all the different factors involved while getting a clear understanding of the enviornment. Additionally, knowing how to set goals and objectives in the planning of tasks gives us the edge. It’s all very methodical.”

Third place is occupied by professional soccer trainer Ian Wheeler, teacher of the Total Football Program.

This week will prove to be another exciting week in the EPL.

On a local note, the game of the week in CASL will be between Paul Kelly’s Express Locomotive and Jeff Montgomery’s Clockwork Orange. Many in the PTS are predicting a bloodbath.