David Beckham is visiting a school.  In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a ‘tragedy’. One little boy stands up and offers that if my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street and a car came along and killed him that would be a tragedy. “No,” Beckham says, “that would be an ACCIDENT.” A girl raises her hand. “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved….. that would be a tragedy.” “I’m afraid not,” explains Beckham. “That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.” The room is silent, none of the children volunteer. “What?” asks Beckham, “Isn’t there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?” Finally a boy in the back raises his hand.  In a timid voice, he says “If an airplane carrying David Beckham was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy.” Beckham beams.  “Marvellous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?” “Well,” says the boy  “because it wouldn’t be an accident and it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss.”
Q: What would David Beckham’s name be if he was a Spice Girl?
A: Waste of Spice
David Beckham has gone crazy believing Posh has been having an affair on him. In manic rage, he goes out and buys a gun. He rushes home to confront his wife, and finds her in bed with none other than Ruud Van Nistelroy. 
Devastated, Beckham takes out the gun and points it at his own head. 
“No, David don’t do it.” Posh cries jumping up from her spot underneath the covers….”I’m sorry and I know we can work this out.”
“Shut up and sit back Victoria.” Beckham replies. “You’re next.”

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